In another study from Dunn and Sandstrom, a grouping of students were asked to carry around counters and keep count all social interactions over the course of their day. Having more social interactions led the students to report greater levels of happiness and wellbeing.

In terms of how much differences in personality traits touch on these assertions, Sandstrom, Nightingall, Dunn, and others say, less than y'all'd probably think. "Both extroverts and introverts are social beings," Nightingall says.

Sandstrom adds that people who are more introverted tend to be more worried near how conversations will go ahead of time compared with extroverts. But those differences go away when people report the benefits they become out of a conversation (according to what she and colleagues constitute in the same "Psychological Science" paper published last yr). That research besides looked at other personality differences besides introversion. "Things like self-esteem and rejection sensitivity didn't matter," Sandstrom says.

How to actually be meliorate at talking to strangers

Whether it's approaching someone at a networking event, engaging a friend of a friend you've never met before at a party, or sharing a kind word with a stranger on the elevator (aye, we went at that place), here are some pointers:

ane. Be dauntless, worry less

Even if it's uncomfortable, be dauntless and simply do information technology, Sandstrom says. The person is probably going to similar you more than you call back and you're both probably going to enjoy it more than you retrieve.

And don't exist agape to talk to someone who seems different from you, adds Juliana Schroeder, PhD, assistant professor at the Haas Schoolhouse of Business at Academy of California Berkeley. (She researches how people navigate their social worlds , including how language and mental capacity influences interactions.) "When yous have to talk with someone unlike from you, that tin be the nigh enlightening and interesting experience."

two. Be curious

Ask questions. Is the person wearing an commodity of clothing that's noteworthy? Why did they make up one's mind to come to whatever issue you're both at? Research actually suggests that people who ask more questions are meliorate liked past their conversation partners than people who enquire fewer questions. A question can either kicking off a conversation or keep it going, Sandstrom says.

3. Don't be afraid to go off-script

Skip the stock questions (what do you do, where do you lot alive, etc.), and ask a question that will make your conversation partner recollect, which is engaging, Nightingall says. Or start with a statement: "This painting really confuses me" or "I can't believe how crowded the train is today." Statements are invitations to share curiosities, Nightingall says.

And whether yous're asking a question, replying, or making a statement, be authentic, she adds. "People want to get the existent you so they tin express the real them."

four. Give someone a compliment

It shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel good, Sandstrom explains. When it comes to our anxieties about having conversations with people we don't know, we tend to be in our heads a lot, overthinking what we're doing wrong or what nosotros could exercise wrong, she explains. Focusing the attention on the other person in those moments can help u.s. get by those bad-mannered spots, she says.

5. Talk most something yous both have in mutual

At the very least, you're in the same place and experiencing the same weather condition. Only don't be afraid to dig deeper and find more interesting commonalities: maybe you're from the same place, possibly you have a mutual friend, maybe you have a shared hobby, or possibly you piece of work in similar roles.

"We tend to overestimate how dissimilar people are from one another and how dissimilar they are from u.s., " Sandstrom says. "In reality, y'all probably take lots in mutual, only yous just don't know what that is yet."

6. Have more conversations with people you don't know

The more you have, the more than likely that yous're going to take adept conversations, Sandstrom says. You get improve at asking meliorate questions, and answering with more interesting responses. "In that location's some skill, only its as much confidence that come up from only doing it more often," she says.

We fright social rejection — that the person won't respond positively or will ignore the states, Schroeder says. Research shows the opposite, however, that people most e'er are willing to engage in a conversation when prompted past someone else. (Our fear assumptions neglect to take into business relationship the social norms of politeness, Schroeder says.)

7. Don't permit the awkward moments trip you up

Sandstrom says in her experience, she would depict the stages of having a conversation with a stranger as follows: Offset, they await at you as if asking, "Do I know y'all?" Then at that place's recognition they don't know you. Then it's, "Await, are you a weirdo?" Then they get past all of that and realize you're simply beingness friendly.

"You accept to be OK that it might exist awkward for a bit," Sandstrom says. "But if you proceed going, hopefully you'll become to that stage where you're having a real conversation."

More FROM Ameliorate

  • How to be a better reader
  • How to meliorate your retentivity, according to neuroscience
  • Why our sense of fourth dimension speeds upwards every bit nosotros historic period — and how to slow it down
  • How to railroad train your encephalon to accept change

Desire more tips similar these? NBC News Improve is obsessed with finding easier, healthier and smarter means to live. Sign up for our newsletter and follow united states on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.